pledge of allegiance

I do solemnly swear that my life is slowly winding out of control. I feel like a crash test dummy in one of those safety videos shot on high speed film. Impending doom flashes very clearly thousands of frames ahead but my fate is unavoidable: this vehicle, moving at 5 miles per hour, is simply unstoppable.

I'm in the car and I'm pushing it, straight in to a wall. And that's fine. Just fine.