...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

recomposition.

There. Door closed again. Sealed tight for now.

I should have kept my mind clear. It was the wise thing to do. And here we are again. The way we were.

I'm sorry if my smile crackles.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

love letter.

I wish I could tell you everything, love.

- me

when disaster strikes.

"Wake up. Wake up, motherfucker..."

"Huh?"

"Stop dreaming. What did I tell you about those dangerous thoughts? Now, you can never go back. Fool!"

"Yeah... Yeah, I should have listened. Where am I going with this? Now what?"

"Don't spend your time on lost causes, my friend. Remember when you promised yourself so long ago how you would never let this happen again? Remember that now."

"I just can't do it anymore. Not anymore. I'm just so tired sometimes, fighting it. Standing alone, staying strong. I'm just so tired now. I don't want to be that one, the stuff of whispers, but I'm just so tired of fighting, of holding back. It's driving me crazy. Just crazy."

"Take a breath. And wake the fuck up, asshole. I told you this would happen. Why didn't you listen? Why didn't you listen! What a fucking mess. What a goddamn fucking mess."