ardor

Reality shows. I hate them with a passion. Yes, I'll admit, there's a sick luster to the stupidity and if you pay attention for five minutes, you are doomed for an hour. But, I try hard, very hard to retreat to my ivory house of cards as soon as possible. This tactic works pretty well and my hatred for reality shows has sustained its vigor despite having undergone various "re-education" programs during the regimes of previous girlfriends. I'm like those political prisoners on TV. Fifteen, twenty years in the can and the guy still comes out smiling. All he needed was a shave.

own me you

And I wanted to add, "Now that's love."

But I couldn't. That would have just been foolish.

Where's the tourniquet...

pledge of allegiance

I do solemnly swear that my life is slowly winding out of control. I feel like a crash test dummy in one of those safety videos shot on high speed film. Impending doom flashes very clearly thousands of frames ahead but my fate is unavoidable: this vehicle, moving at 5 miles per hour, is simply unstoppable.

I'm in the car and I'm pushing it, straight in to a wall. And that's fine. Just fine.

don't believe everything you hear

Give me a boombox and I'll serenade you. This is how we do it. I'll hit that play button and let some rockstar make sweet sweet love to your ears.

Ha. The only word for that is "gross". You needn't worry. No Sweaty Leatherpants will ever hold you in thrall, my dearest. At least not under such terrible literary conditions.

Rewind:

We've known each other how many years now? Why did she tell me these things? I feel burdened with some terrible secret that apparently has no basis in reality.

All my senses are at constant alert, searching for but one meager shred of truth in those words. And nothing! Total stonewall. Lifeless eyes that betray no glint of emotion even when shook by smiles and laughter.

There was one moment. For the briefest second you searched my face and I couldn't say a word to save my life. But just as quickly you composed yourself. Back straightened, you looked off a bit, and there we were again. As we were.

You once told me that you'd hold out until the very end, that you'd wait and wait until emotions boiled over and dramatic confessions were drawn. I never would have believed you to be such a cool customer. Correction: down right frigid! You, my dear, are a stone cold love machine.

Well, I won't always be here to complete your better half.

Keep searching.